a glimpse of heaven

still feels like i don't fit in, but bothers me less these days.
starting to feel like i can change, attempt, progress, if not succeed.
starting to look for a pursuit worth my time, and it feels near.
worry and despair are sloughing away, and new skin feels the sun.

maybe it's the beginning.
maybe life starts today.
maybe i have left darkness behind.
maybe the best has finally come.

i recall the tears, but forget the pain.
my heart can beat without aching.
tender scars have faded to white,
and they are beautiful.