if you only knew

sometimes words come out of nowhere. something buried inside struggles for a way out, and the words flow like water from the ground, and deep emotion rides that current to the surface. that's when i sit back and am amazed that those words and thoughts and feelings were even mine.

but when words fail me, they fail me badly. even the most basic notions fail to be bounded by definition or description, and the expression is inexact. i'd rather throw it out than miss the mark.

still i have to try...

in the moment that mattered

if you only knew
how far i had fallen
when you stopped to pick me up.
you gave me the breath i needed
before the current pulled me under.

you gave me a place
when i had no place to go,
when others would have sent me away.
you counted me as a friend
before you even knew my name.

it's okay that you didn't plan to,
didn't have it on a list of things to do.
luck, coincidence, or circumstance
threw it all together.
but it couldn't have happened without you.

the questions you never asked,
the truth you let me share,
the times when you were there,
these gave me peace.

you are special.
don't ask me how i know.

these words don't say it well, but it's close as i can come today. words on a screen are small things, but your words have made a big difference in my life. don't know what shape i would be in without them. how could i not say 'thank you'? i have a lot of faults, but ingratitude isn't one of them.