remnant

i like surprises. the best gifts are the ones you get that you didn't even know you needed, or wanted. i was reminded of that as i was folding some rags in my garage. there in the basket was the pajamas top from a pair of pj's my wife had given me our first Christmas together. i never wore pj's, at least not that i could ever remember, so it never would have occurred to me to ask for a pair. yet there they were, not something i wanted to have, but something she wanted me to have. surprise. but the real surprise came when i found out that i really did like them. they were tan flannel with brown piping. soft, warm, comfy. perfect for sleeping, perfect for "i'm ready for coffee, but i'm not ready to be up yet". i wore them forever during the cold months. the elastic waist failed of course, and i resorted to safety pins to keep them up. somehow i managed to rip the shirt pocket, which is crazy because why would you ever need a pocket on your pajamas? but my wife sewed them up, not pretty, but functional. and i wore them some more. eventually, somewhere in the years, they were replaced, but no pajamas since have ever felt as good as that first pair.

as i stood there in my garage, holding what was now just a rag, i felt a twinge of... not so much sadness, more like sentiment. as i traced the haphazard stitching, i could imagine her holding the cloth, sewing, pulling the jigsaw sides back together, binding them up so that life could go on. at that moment, i appreciated her, and i thought she must have cared for me, at least at that moment as she mended she must have cared some.