powder

they say i'm like powder, and the smallest spark can start a big explosion. maybe so. but now that it's blown, feels like the blast was all inside my chest. tomorrow is supposed to be a good day for me, but right now i just don't feel up to it. they say that running away is something i do alot, and i feel like doing it right now. but no place to go, nowhere i can be... they say i've done no one any favors by staying, so what the hell? people can't make up their damn minds, so why should i feel bad about it? i was sure that something better was coming, but i don't know, maybe i missed it. felt it for awhile, and wished i could go on feeling it. but everything fades, everything drifts. wish i could lay in the sand and hear the waves crash, smell the salt in the air. a thousand miles from that, though, and ten thousand from where i want to be. no chance, no hope.