running

need to get away, find a new place. somewhere no one knows me, no one's been disappointed by me, no one's been hurt by me. i guess i don't love you anymore, because it feels like i don't love anyone now. i can't believe how much i have changed, how far i've fallen. i need to be alone. tired of being blamed me for life not being all they wanted it to be. i don't have that kind of power. anyone can tear down, but who can build up? who can give life, or love? who has the power to save it? i need to get away before i do any more damage. everything was a mistake. sorry won't cover it, i know, and i'm not sorry for what i did. i tried to do my best. i'm sorry it was so insufficient, so worthless, such a waste of time and energy, such an exercise in futility. who the hell was i to think that i had something to offer, to you or anyone else? so cocky, so arrogant, so stupid. all i had to offer was more misery. my life is not in my hands, but i swear to god i am not living. i am just waiting to die.