addictions
they're not all the same.
i've heard that withdrawal from alcohol addiction can actually kill you. one of only two substances that are that way. sorry, i don't remember what the other one is. but for all those that won't kill you, they say cold turkey is the most effective way to quit.
i smoked when i was a teenager, but never got addicted. the cigarettes gave me headaches, made me feel sick. when the subject of quitting came up, i said i could quit at any time. "everybody says that but then they can't really do it." smart ass. i quit just to prove him wrong.
at times i drank too much, drank myself incredibly sick. at the very least, i would spend the next whole day literally nursing a liter of coca-cola. back then it came in glass bottles. i would put it in the freezer until ice just began to form in it, then i would lie in bed and slowly sip the icy cold, carbonated, caramel-colored liquid until my stomache agreed not to throw everything back up. but i never needed to drink. never felt like i couldn't live without a drink. i just always thought "why the hell not?" finally i got so drunk that the hangover really felt like i was dying, and it dawned on me: alcohol is a poison. they use it to kill things. after that, i decided to drink but not get drunk. not so unlike the decision to eat, but stop before i was stuffed. still, after i got married my wife was just so goddam certain that i was going to be an alcoholic, just like my parents. she was so convinced that she convinced our daughter who then burst into tears when i drank my annual beer at the lake, and i had to promise her i wouldn't drink anymore so she wouldn't have to worry.
addictions tarnish what otherwise would shine. my flaws keep me from being confident, keep me from thinking too much of myself. keep me from being proud. but even when i think i have my addictions under control, i find myself getting edgy, and deep inside i know why. i've never done drugs, but i have been hooked. forget the nicotine, the caffeine, the booze...
i think i'm addicted to...
you.
i've heard that withdrawal from alcohol addiction can actually kill you. one of only two substances that are that way. sorry, i don't remember what the other one is. but for all those that won't kill you, they say cold turkey is the most effective way to quit.
i smoked when i was a teenager, but never got addicted. the cigarettes gave me headaches, made me feel sick. when the subject of quitting came up, i said i could quit at any time. "everybody says that but then they can't really do it." smart ass. i quit just to prove him wrong.
at times i drank too much, drank myself incredibly sick. at the very least, i would spend the next whole day literally nursing a liter of coca-cola. back then it came in glass bottles. i would put it in the freezer until ice just began to form in it, then i would lie in bed and slowly sip the icy cold, carbonated, caramel-colored liquid until my stomache agreed not to throw everything back up. but i never needed to drink. never felt like i couldn't live without a drink. i just always thought "why the hell not?" finally i got so drunk that the hangover really felt like i was dying, and it dawned on me: alcohol is a poison. they use it to kill things. after that, i decided to drink but not get drunk. not so unlike the decision to eat, but stop before i was stuffed. still, after i got married my wife was just so goddam certain that i was going to be an alcoholic, just like my parents. she was so convinced that she convinced our daughter who then burst into tears when i drank my annual beer at the lake, and i had to promise her i wouldn't drink anymore so she wouldn't have to worry.
addictions tarnish what otherwise would shine. my flaws keep me from being confident, keep me from thinking too much of myself. keep me from being proud. but even when i think i have my addictions under control, i find myself getting edgy, and deep inside i know why. i've never done drugs, but i have been hooked. forget the nicotine, the caffeine, the booze...
i think i'm addicted to...
you.
posted by fool2cr at 12/05/2006 09:35:00 PM
2 Comments:
Wow, this is powerful.
only when i am weak...
and when will the swan come back into the water?
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